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Friday, June 17, 2011

Breath

June feels to me like a big huge sigh after a long wait. Kind of like August when you are just rolling in the abundance of crops and loving every second the free abandon of green. Every day when my daughters and I walk down the hill to our little patch of earth where we planted things, (thanks to our neighbour, Carol, who felt bad for us after our chickens ate everything I put in the ground!!!) we find ourselves waiting. Watching. Listening. And oftimes, praying, that those little seeds will come up and bless us with their nutrient dense yumminess.
I watch my oldest girl plucking lettuce leaves out of the earth  and can't help but recall a million dinner times when she said very very adamently "NO. I do not WANT salad. NO."  She tucks these little leaves into her mouth, just as she did when she was two years old. I watch her eyes roll back in her head (just like a baby nursing) and know I did something right.
Not much, but that for sure. She watches with baited breath the tiny tomato plants, the peas for their flowers and the beans leaves. She shares my excitement of brand new green shiney leaves and all things growing. Lovely chocolately brown soil and thick compost. So wonderful to hear her say "Is this a weed, Mama? Can I pull this out? And the roots too?"

The littlest one patiently sighs as I stoop over and try and complete garden tasks with her in my arms or the carrier. She isn't so pleased with it when I'm not standing as she would like. But simply will not tolerate me laying her down in the green of the lawn. Any moment she is not attached to me is a bad one in her eyes. Which makes my life very challenging, but I can understand. Being a daughter (and a mama) myself, I understand the connection to mama and the safeness that it provides. She loves to be in my arms. Occasionally she will allow another person to hold her, but I need to be within eyeshot. Her papa is the only one who might maybe be allowed to hold her for a longer stretch. Maybe.

Another June day, and today my girl and my sweetheart are home. It should be wonderful.

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