Tuesday, April 24, 2012



After much consideration,  this is where things lie.

I graduated from college just in time to have my first baby, and since have not done much besides be a mom. Having worked in various cafes and coffee shops over the years, as well as taking in other youngsters, I have made an income, but it isn't where my heart is. I love children, especially my own. The ones I have cared for over the years hold a special and dear spot in my heart- and I can safely say, I will never ever forget them. They have been my children without being my own. As some teachers have been known to say, all their students are their children. I feel exactly the same way.

For a while now I have been wanting something. I have my babies, and they are so very dear to me. But. Well. At thirty years old, I am finally doing what I imagine most just out of college kids do. I am searching. Early morning computer time amounts to searching on-line through organizations, institutions and journals, searching for something. Somewhere. I have the sudden itch and desire to use my skills. Other then my mama and/or cooking skills. (Other then my floor scrubbing, yarn winding, onion chopping, latte get the idea...)

I have realized in the couple months that I have been searching, I am not alone. I have realized that there are probably literally hundreds, if not thousands, of mamas out there who have had their babies in their twenties and then moved find they are facing a big huge world of degree holding waitresses. That try as they might to earn a good living with their HUGE college debt behind them (not to mention house payments, children to feed, and cars to pay for...and god forbid if they ever need health care...) it is darn near impossible in this world to get ahead. Flat out just plain out of reach.

I'm not complaining. Nope. Just observing the ways of the world.
And being mighty discouraged.

As realized, I am good at making coffee. As well as waking up very early and baking. I've been doing these things on and off since I was about eighteen.If nothing else, I have this. And that is always something I can fall back on, if need be. People do that. The old standbys. But I have this hope that something will just present itself through the searching. That I will be looking and looking and looking...and then someday, somewhere, somehow... the perfect thing will just be there. And it will be just right at just the right time.

Because things do, right?
Because people are given a chance, right?
Because even though there are hundreds, thousands, whatever of mamas out there who are searching in the very same way, someone has to give a chance eventually, right?

You'd have to hope.

Maybe. Fingers crossed.

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