Wednesday, July 4, 2012


This morning, lying in bed, unable to sleep, yet again... I was thinking about this. What does it mean to be alone? Thinking about how in life we are given this life, and are truly utterly completely alone in our body shells (with the amazing exception of motherhood and pregnancy) until the day we die. The same old thing- "we are born alone and will die alone..."

But as mamas, we live our daily dailies and completely take for granted that for a while, or forever, our children need us. They need us to soothe the ache of daily ouchies and the unknown of everything. We are the buffer that lies between them and the outside world. Truly an amazing exception, if you think about it. And more amazing still, that in a complete life cycle, you live all sides to this. As a child, your parents did that for you. As a teenager, they still did. Until you cracked the shell and ventured out...and they still looked towards you with aching expressions, trying to protect you from this hard hard world. (My mama still looks at me like that, bless her- she saves me on many occasions, and for that I will never be the mama she is...)

And then, one day, probably the day you learn that you too will be a parent, you begin to protect and nourish the being within you. You fight for it, you live for it, you save for it. Every ounce of your being is for that being. You realize that your own bodily needs lie second. You've got a job to do, and it's probably the single most important one you've ever faced.
And then, you never stop. (As I indicated with my mama.) Your little ones never grow too old to hold them in your arms.

And then, eventually, the parents who held you so dearly, then need you to hold them. Because of all that they did for you, you give it back. It's the way it's supposed to be. The world designed it like this. And eventually, when time takes it's tole, we all do it.  Whether your parents or your grandparents, when they need to have you there beside them, you can't say no. There isn't the power in you.
It all goes full circle.

Not sure why, but children aren't taught now-a-days they are a part of a chain, a circle of something larger. They are taught that they are independent, alone, and that alone is terrifying. I believe truly that being alive on this earth one is accountable and responsible for the life we live...but... well.  There is nothing like belonging to a family.

(I sure do love mine.)