After the time changed, or rather, after the clocks were changed, I found myself unable to keep sleeping. And so, if it was four thirty am when I was waking, now it is three thirty. And it's ok. I don't mind. Mostly because someone has me crawling into bed with her at seven thirty pm, with jammies on and lights out. And that's ok. I did this for years before. And still, my big girl sees us cuddling down in the big huge bed and wants in on the action. For years she wanted to stay up with us and read in the other room, but now she sees where her sister and I are headed and wants in on it.
The weather has been so bazaar lately here, sixty degrees one day, twenty five the next...but even if. Something about the knowledge that winter is on it's way makes me want to nestle down and drink hot tea and make soup. We still go for long walks, almost daily, but start with many layers that are easy to take off. With the little ones we seem to need to have a destination, otherwise it will begin with feet dragging. But that's part of the joy...! (and admittedly, it almost always involves stopping in at a favourite cafe for Mama's coffee... and maybe a little chocolate pansy...)
We have been collecting fir cones and acorns, old crunchy leaves and pine needles. My girl tries to bring in the bird berries (what we call the red berries growing this time of year. I dubbed them that years ago when she was so into berries I was terrified she would try them out when my back was turned...) Horse chestnuts and shiney rocks. A big salad bowl sits on the counter waiting to see what this all shall turn into...I have a feeling it might just be the joy of collecting. Even if, it is fun all the same.
And so, here I am at four thirty, dreaming of our day. It's wonderful to find myself awake and alone in these early morning hours, it gives me a little time to breathe and simply be alone. I cherish these moments every day...and realize that this is a part of what keeps me sane in all the chaos of our regular day to day life. I need the time. Strange as it may seem to my friends and family who find out I wake up so early, I need it. They stay up late after putting their kids to bed, and I simply do the opposite. After years of baking and opening coffee shops, it's really not that off base.